Games are recommended on a four-point scale like those "strongly agree/disagree" questions you get on surveys. This scale goes "Strongly", "If you like this kinda game", "Watch it online", and "Avoid at all costs" from best to worst. It's one part how likely I am to replay the game and one part how likely I am to recommend it to fans of that game's genre. I'm not in the business of objectivity, just what's fun to me. No reason to play a game if you're not having fun, yeah?
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Kids, take this lesson from nostalgia: it lies to you! One of two Jimmy Neutron (a show I liked a whole lot) games I grew up with, the other being the so-bad-it's-very-good PC movie tie-in game, Jet Fusion is the one I remember less of, and now I know why. It's hard, and not for the best reasons! When an invention to project books into real life goes awry, Jimmy's favorite action movie star secret agent Jet Fusion is captured by the notorious Professor Calamitous and Jimmy's gotta go through several culturally sensitive stages to save him and collect a set of all-powerful idols before Calamitous does.
Each stage (which aren't altogether very memorable, despite the potential stages based on feudal Japan, dangerous jungles, and pirate ships might have) has you build two items from scavenged parts, one to clear the stage and one to give Jimmy a new weapon. The tutorial stage in the school equips you with the main one you'll use throughout the game, the Pulse Light Ray—aka a gun. Jimmy Neutron has a gun. Game of the year. And while, yes, it is fucking hilarious to spend much of the game ventilating dudes (including the school bullies), I admittedly could not finish Jet Fusion.
Most of the problem is with the controls. Jimmy is stiff and has an absurd amount of weight to him, which isn't a great trait when you have to platform everywhere! There's also a lot of instant death traps, including any water. Now imagine how a platforming bit involving floating logs and cannibals with dart guns goes. One specific jump in the volcano level saw me use up a whole continue's worth of lives and never once making it—kinda sucks! The collectibles are fun enough and there is charm here, but the most enjoyable part was for sure checking out the trailers for all the other Nickelodeon media on the disc.
| Reviewed | My favorite part | Recommended? |
|---|---|---|
| June 13, 2025 | Shootin' dudes | Watch it online |
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